Divorce mediation: how it works, what it costs and what happens next

In family mediation, a neutral, trained mediator sits between you and your ex-partner and helps the two of you reach your own agreement about children, money and property, rather than leaving the decision to a judge. It is voluntary, it is usually much cheaper and faster than court, and for most family court applications you now have to at least consider it first. Sessions typically cost around £100 to £180 per person per hour, and families with children can claim a £500 government voucher towards the cost under a scheme extended to March 2027.

This guide explains what mediation is, the MIAM you usually need before court, what actually happens in sessions, what a mediator can and cannot do, what it costs, and how a mediated agreement is turned into something legally binding. Because the real question for most people is whether mediation is cheaper than the alternative, it helps to compare routes side by side: the mediation vs solicitor costs calculator lets you estimate your own likely spend on each path before you commit to either.

What family mediation is

Mediation is a way of sorting out the practical consequences of separation without going to court. A neutral mediator sits between you and your ex-partner and helps you have the conversations that are hard to have on your own: who lives where, what happens to the house, how pensions and savings are split, and the arrangements for any children. The mediator manages the process and keeps it balanced, but the decisions are entirely yours.

Two features make it work. First, it is confidential: what is said in the room stays in the room. Second, the financial discussions are without prejudice, meaning proposals you float while trying to settle generally cannot later be quoted against you in court if you do not reach full agreement. That safety net is what allows people to be flexible and explore options they would never risk in an adversarial process.

Mediation is not marriage counselling and it is not about reconciliation. It is a forward-looking, decision-focused process aimed at reaching a workable settlement. For the substance of what a financial settlement should actually cover, see the divorce financial settlement guide.

The MIAM: the meeting you usually need before court

Before you can make most private family applications, the law expects you to find out about mediation. Under section 10 of the Children and Families Act 2014, a person who wants to make a relevant family application (for example a financial remedy application on Form A, or a children application on Form C100) must first attend a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting, known as a MIAM.

A MIAM is a short, individual meeting (usually 45 minutes to an hour) with an authorised mediator. Its purpose is to:

• Explain your options: how mediation works, and what other non-court routes exist for resolving your dispute.
• Assess suitability: whether mediation is likely to work in your particular circumstances.
• Screen for safety: the mediator checks for domestic abuse, safeguarding concerns and power imbalances that would make mediation inappropriate.

You attend the MIAM; mediation itself is then voluntary, and either of you can decline. If you do go to court, the mediator signs the relevant section of your court form to confirm you attended the MIAM, or that an exemption applied. Exemptions include evidence of domestic abuse, genuine urgency, and child protection investigations, in which case you can apply to court directly. The MIAM sits within the wider framework of the Family Procedure Rules that govern how family cases are run, and gov.uk explains the process for separating families in plain terms.

What happens in a mediation session

After the MIAM, if both of you agree to proceed, you move into the mediation sessions themselves. The typical shape looks like this:

• Setting the agenda: in the first joint session, the mediator helps you list what needs deciding and in what order.
• Financial disclosure: for money issues, you both provide open, honest information about your assets, income, pensions and debts. Mediation cannot produce a fair outcome without it, and dishonest disclosure can later unravel any agreement.
• Working through the issues: across a series of sessions you explore options, test them against your priorities, and narrow towards an agreement.
• Recording the outcome: once you settle, the mediator writes up what you have agreed.

Most families need somewhere between three and six sessions, each around 60 to 90 minutes, though complex finances take longer. You can meet in the same room, or, where being face to face is difficult, use shuttle mediation, where you stay in separate rooms and the mediator moves between you. Some services also offer online mediation by video, which many people find easier to fit around work and childcare.

What a mediator can and cannot do

This is the most misunderstood part of mediation, and getting it right protects you. A mediator is neutral. They act for neither of you and cannot take sides.

A mediator can:

• Give general legal information, such as how the court usually approaches the family home, pensions or maintenance.
• Help you understand each other's position and generate options.
• Keep the discussion structured, balanced and focused on solutions.
• Draft the documents that record what you have agreed.

A mediator cannot:

• Give either of you legal advice, or tell you what you personally should accept.
• Take your side or advocate for you.
• Impose a decision or force an outcome; nothing is agreed until you both agree it.

Because the mediator cannot advise you, many people take independent legal advice from their own solicitor alongside mediation, so they understand their entitlements before signing up to anything. That is general information rather than advice for your situation, and a solicitor acting only for you can tell you whether a proposed deal is right for your circumstances. Mediation and legal advice are complements, not alternatives.

What mediation costs, and the £500 voucher

Mediation is priced per session and shared between you, which is a large part of why it undercuts other routes. As a general guide for England and Wales:

• The MIAM is usually charged separately, often around £90 to £120 per person.
• Sessions typically cost around £100 to £180 per person per hour, varying by region and mediator.
• Overall, a mediated financial settlement commonly totals in the low hundreds to around a couple of thousand pounds per person, depending on complexity and number of sessions.

Set that against solicitor-led negotiation or a contested court case, which routinely runs into five figures per person once disclosure disputes and hearings are involved. Mediation is not free, but on a per-session, shared-cost basis it is one of the least expensive routes to a settlement.

On top of that, the Family Mediation Voucher Scheme provides a one-off contribution of up to £500 per family towards mediation in cases involving children. The scheme has been extended to March 2027. You do not claim it yourself: your mediator checks eligibility and applies through the Family Mediation Council. Note that the voucher covers the mediation sessions, not the MIAM. To see how the totals compare against a solicitor-led route for your own situation, run the numbers through the mediation vs solicitor costs calculator.

The costs across both routes, side by side:

Cost	Typical amount	Notes
MIAM	Around £90 to £120 per person	Charged separately; not covered by the voucher
Mediation sessions	Around £100 to £180 per person per hour	Most families need three to six sessions
Family Mediation Voucher	Up to £500 per family	Cases involving children; claimed by your mediator; scheme runs to March 2027
Mediated settlement overall	Low hundreds to a couple of thousand pounds per person	Depends on complexity and number of sessions
Consent order court fee	£62	Plus drafting; the step that makes the agreement binding
Solicitor-led negotiation or contested court case	Routinely five figures per person	Rises further with disclosure disputes and hearings

Making a mediated agreement legally binding

Reaching agreement in mediation is a milestone, but it is not the finish line, and this is where people most often trip up. A mediated agreement is not automatically legally binding. Turning it into something enforceable takes two further steps:

1. Memorandum of understanding. The mediator prepares a memorandum of understanding setting out what you have agreed, alongside an open financial statement summarising both of your finances. The memorandum records your intentions but does not, by itself, bind either of you as a contract.
2. Consent order. To make a financial agreement legally binding and enforceable, you (usually through a solicitor) convert the memorandum into a consent order and apply to the court to approve it. Once a judge seals it, it is enforceable like any court order. This is also the only way to achieve a clean break that dismisses future financial claims between you.

The consent order stage is inexpensive relative to what it secures: a £62 court fee plus drafting. Skipping it is a false economy, because a private agreement, however sincerely meant, does not stop a former spouse claiming against your future assets. The mechanics of that step, and why a clean break matters even when there is little to divide, are covered in the guide to consent orders and clean break orders. You can also read more about how settlements are structured through our financial settlements hub.

When mediation is not the right route

Mediation only works when both people can negotiate freely, safely and honestly. It is not suitable where there has been domestic abuse, where there is a significant power imbalance, where there are unresolved safeguarding concerns, or where one person will not disclose their finances honestly. The MIAM screening exists to catch exactly these situations, and a responsible mediator will not proceed where it is unsafe.

If any of this applies to you, you are not expected to sit across a table from someone who frightens you. Domestic abuse is a recognised exemption from the MIAM requirement, so you can apply to court directly. If you are in immediate danger, call 999. For confidential support at any time, the 24-hour National Domestic Abuse Helpline is 0808 2000 247.

Finding an accredited mediator

Not every mediator can conduct a MIAM or claim the voucher. You want a mediator accredited by the Family Mediation Council, shown by the FMCA (Family Mediation Council Accredited) mark. Only an authorised FMCA mediator can carry out a MIAM, sign the court form confirming attendance, and apply for the £500 voucher on your behalf. Accreditation confirms the mediator meets national training and practice standards.

Although "mediation near me" is a natural search, the most reliable place to find a genuinely accredited local mediator is the searchable directory maintained by the Family Mediation Council, rather than a general web search that may surface unaccredited services. Mediation is available across England and Wales, in person and increasingly online, so location is rarely a barrier.

Speak to a specialist

Mediation resolves a great deal, but the moment an agreement becomes a binding consent order, and the independent advice that runs alongside it, are where a specialist earns their keep. We work with family law professionals across England and Wales who advise on mediated settlements and draw up the consent orders that make them stick. Share a few details through our contact page and we will arrange an initial, no-strings chat. We are not a law firm and give no legal advice ourselves; if we introduce you to a firm it may pay us a referral fee, which has no effect on your own fees or the advice you are given.